As preached by Brother Marc
Holy Wisdom Church
Js 3:13-18; Ep
4:22-32; Mt 6:5-15
We are usually
not at our best when grief, fear, and desire for revenge hit us. For example,
police officers are having a hard time of it these days. One officer, in a
debriefing session, said: "I was riding around filled with hatred. This
criminal had killed one of my best friends. It was going to feel so good to
find him and finish him off. I was ready. I was focused. I had a mission. But
as the hours passed, I saw how I was getting caught up in the rage and loss. I
was becoming, all that the killer was—a hateful, murderous person. I said, 'I
am different. I have to be different. I am more than that. I cannot be pulled
into that deadly hate-filled kind of existence. I need to be the trained
officer whose duty is to protect and serve; I have to do the right
thing.'"
Where is forgiveness in this story? The
officer was remarkably able to step back and un–identify with his anger. He
freed himself from his vengefulness. He severed his emotional tie to the
perpetrator. He did not pay back in kind.
We know we need to forgive and be forgiven
because we are followers of Christ, seekers of salvation. We want to wake up to
larger realities and the deeper values the world is in dire need of. And
so, forgiveness could seem even to be a way of life,especially when we
hear “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse
you, and pray for those who mistreat you. If anyone hits you on one cheek, let
them hit the other one too; if someone takes your coat let them have your shirt
as well.” But, you know, not everyone pays any attention to this.
Maybe what we struggle with is how to
practice it. How to move from where we might sometimes find ourselves—feeling
hurt, angry, victimized, abused, and alienated--to where we say, "I am
more than that. God and my own better self call me out of that?” How to move
from obsessing on anger, and hurt to forgiveness? It might very well be a
situation like the lost traveler being told “You can’t get there from here.”
We may need a way
to begin, and a good starting point. We need a rock-solid experience to
motivate us. Today’s gospel makes the connection between forgiveness and
prayer. The good Lord directs us not simply to go through the motions and say the
right words when we pray. If our life is unexamined and unchanged and if we
don’t go deeper, we can very easily begin to look phony and feel hypocritical.
Deeper is not more being strict in our practice. It is constantly entering
the privacy of our heart. This is not only “thinking things over.” It is not
planning our tactics or priorities, calendars and lists. Deeper is
closing our door, sitting without music, computer, or i-phone. You might need
to use ear plugs and noise cancelling headphones. Deeper is turning down the
volume of our five senses and distractions—a scary thought—to become aware of
the dark room inside ourselves. Deeper might mean running head on into inner
conflicts and uncomfortable contradictions.
Deeper means not
falling asleep here in boredom or exhaustion. Fidgeting, and a barrage of
thoughts are smoke screens hiding our wakefulness, watchfulness, mindfulness
and awareness. Deeper is getting a whiff of a different you, catching a glimpse
of what is within me yet bigger than me.
Jesus simply invites
us to pray the phrases of the ‘Our Father.’ But then we hit forgiveness. That’s
where we stumble. That’s when we decide, “Well, time’s-up—gotta-go,” or we just
might get mad and run back to our pressing daily work.
Deeper is the road to "forgiveness from our
heart." It is beyond brilliant ideas like, "Well, I can forgive,
but I can’t forget," or else "I know I am supposed to love
so-and-so, but that doesn’t mean I have to like the person." That
doesn’t really sound like forgiveness, but it could be the beginning we need.
Forgiving
doesn't mean forgetting. Someone once said "If you can't forgive and
forget, pick one." Neither does it mean you've given out the message
what someone did was okay. Someone also said "Forgiveness does not change
the past, but it does enlarge the future." It just means you've begun
to see the possibility some day of letting go of the guilt, the being upset, or the anger towards someone or towards
yourself. And that is easier said than done. If forgiveness were easy,
everyone would be doing it.
–Brother Marc
