As preached by Brother Theophan
Holy Wisdom Church
Today’s Gospel reading is about how the intensity of our desire to know God meets with God’s desire to know us, in a very personal way. Zaccheus was a rich publican - someone who made his riches in a kind of sleazy way, by extorting excessive taxes from hard-working people. Not only was he rich, he was also the chief of publicans, so to some extent had both money and power, but there was still something missing. There was a deep longing in his soul that none of these external things could fill, a loneliness that he kept hidden. So when he heard that Jesus was passing through Jericho, his heart caught on fire. He was willing to feel the full force of his longing: deep in his heart he had an intuition that finally, he’s found that one thing that he was always searching for.
So he acted on this intuition. He stopped caring about what others would say or think about him: pride and vanity couldn’t hold him back. The crowds laughed at him, but it didn’t matter. He scrambles up the tree, above the crowd of distractions and doubts, hoping just to catch a glimpse of Christ. He was being magnetized to a greater Love. And what happened when this desire took over his heart? God arrives to meet him: the God who knows him by name. God wants to be a guest in his house - the human heart becomes God’s place of visitation. To be seen like that by God is to experience a love that nothing else in this world can offer. Zaccheus is overwhelmed and completely transforms his life, he corrects his past mistakes.
This Gospel is reaching out to what is most alive inside of us and giving it a shake: that something that wants to be in deep connection, that is like an open window to mystery. It’s asking us to fully feel our longing and desire for what is deepest in life - we call that God, the source of life, source of our being. That source is always calling us but to be receptive we have to consent to feel our need for it and risk becoming completely vulnerable. And only then do we start having the capacity to be filled up with a life force that is infinitely greater than what any of the so-called substitutes can offer. Our culture never stops offering us a whole range of substitutes and if you refuse to believe in these, rest assured someone will be there to ridicule you like they did Zaccheus.
This hunger for God can be experienced as a loneliness that nothing can cover up. Zaccheus shows us what happens when we consent to consciously own this loneliness without always trying to fill it up, or numbing ourselves to avoid feeling that aching homesickness for our own essence. Part of the Gospel teaching is to allow ourselves to fully feel the pure energy of desire and longing without settling for a quick fix. To risk falling in love with Love itself. If we can enter into this twilight of loneliness and longing, enter and then learn to stay in it, then God will appear to meet us there as a fountain of radiance and strength, of beauty and pure goodness. Then life will be full of meaning and we will have the answer to everything we were searching for out there.
Fr Thomas Keating said that we all have our own “emotional programs for happiness” - all the different ways of going after what we mistakenly believe will bring us lasting happiness. We learn these programs from an early age and they have a very strong influence over us. But sooner or later all of them leave us more or less disappointed - because human beings were made to be satisfied only by the infinite and yet we are always mistaking temporary spikes in happiness as the entire purpose of life. These programs hook us so that we forget about the one thing necessary. And as long as we aren’t conscious of them, the futile programs for happiness run our life. So when our needs for comfort, a good reputation, outside attention and approval are met we look around and we’re haunted by a sense of emptiness - and we think: what’s missing? Fr Keating defines metanoia or conversion as a radical 360 degree change in where we look for happiness. This is an ongoing process, not a one time and you’re done sort of thing. We have to be willing to consciously unhook from the mistaken emotional programs and that’s a rocky road - it’s usually the last thing we want to do because we’re addicted to the quick-fixes and instant gratifications. But doing this spiritual homework is the only way God can enter in and the only way we can reconnect with our source.
I’d like to share some short reflections from St. Tikhon of Zadonsk about Christ as the fulfillment of our deepest longing-
Do you desire good for yourself? All good is in Me.
Do you desire beauty? What is lovelier than I?
Riches? All riches are in me.
Wisdom? I am the Wisdom of God.
Friendship? Who is a greater friend than I - I who laid down my life for all.
Happiness? Who can be happy without me?
Do you seek peace? I am the peace of the soul.
Do you seek life? In Me is the fount of Life.
Do you seek light? I am the Light of the world.
Glory be to Christ.
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